We have a vision for the lifestyle. We’d like to see it comfortable; so comfortable in fact that we no longer have to worry about meeting, congregating, the law, etc. When we began Club H almost nine years ago, we had a limited vision. Our vision was a simple one. It was to meet like-minded people; to bring them together so that they can share, laugh, and have fun with each other. As we continue to grow in the lifestyle our vision has gotten broader. Not only do we want to bring swingers together, but we would like swingers to move from recreational sex, to a lifestyle, and from a lifestyle to that of a Community. How then do we move on, to becoming a viable Community? Well for one, we must move conceptually from the philosophy that this is just recreational sex; that is, we are meeting just to get laid---nothing more. Sure it is sex that brought us together; that was the catalyst, the innate God given force that is in all of us, that made us act. But because we acted, we went to socials, had fun, and met some of the nicest people, here on earth. Oh, what a feeling!!!
Why is it, we found that feeling? Could it be we found that people in this lifestyle are just normal, healthy, God worshipping, family raising people just like you? Could it be, we found out that they were our neighbors, our friends, our bank tellers, our lawyers, our physicians, our plumbers, our electricians, our everyday walk of life people? Not only are they “normal”, etc., but they like to do exactly the same things, as YOU like to do, in the “straight” world. To your amazement, you found out that they like dinners, traveling, shopping, playing golf, etc. WOW! They like the same thing as you do, and guess what??? It’s not sexual... it is the same things that “straight” people do with their friends.
So as you can see, it was easy to move from recreational sex to that of a lifestyle. That is, we like exactly the same things. We are no different than the “straight/normal” world (what is that exactly, “straight/normal”? We don’t have the foggiest idea, but I guess it’s an easy standard of “norm”... something not exactly real, but many of us accept it?) The difficult position now is for us to move on and become a Community.
What is a community? Webster dictionary defines a Community as “a unified body of individuals”; “an interacting population of various kinds of individuals”; “a group of people with common characteristic or interest living together with a larger society or a body of persons of common interests scattered through a larger society”; “a feeling of fellowship”; “a body of persons having common history OR common social, economic and political interests”. That right folks, we have common characteristics. We go under the names of swingers, hedonists, intimate friends, swappers, etc., and so forth .. so many labels ... so many names. But no matter what YOU call yourself, we still have the same interests -- to meet with like-minded people; people who have the feelings, and desires as you do. That is we like to go out shopping, bowling, traveling, etc., with our friends, and if the mood hits, be free about. We don’t have to hide our feelings, cheat on our love ones, have an affair with someone else. We can be a whole person with and to our partner. What a sense of honesty!!! To know that you have lived, and someone has truly known you; they know you, not just as “normal” / “straight” people know you, but as truly your friend. Because we have been honest with our partners, and we have developed friendship with others in this lifestyle, we are starting to trust each other more ... no longer do we go by first names, but we tell our last names to people we meet. We invite them to our homes, to picnics, christenings, etc., and guess what??? ... they invite us when their “straight” friends are present. What a concept!!! We are no longer hiding our “swinging” friends. We found out that they can act “normal” amongst our “straight” friends, and even though we are “sexual” that we have control over libido.
Now, we have moved on even further. We are realizing that we are economically resourceful. We are starting to advertise our businesses, our ventures in club newsletters, swinger’s magazines, etc., ... offering discounts to readers who mention the ad. I spoke with a lady in the lifestyle, who told me that if all else is equal, “she’ll do business with someone in the lifestyle, rather than with someone who isn’t”. By doing business with each other, when “all else is equal”, is empowering the lifestyle. By empowering the lifestyle economically, we are building a viable Community. Just like the gay/lesbian movement, we can now build our own bars, night clubs, golf courses, resorts, etc. And in fact it’s happening. That’s right folks... nudists and gays have had their resorts, and now swingers are building resorts just for swingers... this is happening in the Dominican Republic, Turks and Caicos, and to a smaller degree here in the states with Bed and Breakfast Inns. This is empowerment my friends.
For you to attend swingers parties is not something that did not come without its ups and downs. Several years ago, a Twin Cities club by the name of Silver Chain was “embarrassed” into closing--scared by the headlines, tied to the AIDS epidemics... they folded and ran. Years later, that same reporter tried the same thing with Club H. However, because we have a sense of Community, we stood together, still attended parties, and the club flourished. That is empowerment!!!
The only way that this lifestyle will continue on it’s journey to becoming a viable community, is if YOU the readers, support like-minded organizations, by coming out to parties, placing ads, and subscribing to this magazine and others. Don’t just sit back and wait. Be a pioneer, and help to shape the future.
Toni and Glen
Club H
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