As a clergyman I have also been a 'swinger' for ten years. I struggled in the early days of my swinging with guilt vs the ministry. Guilt that I now feel was self & church inflicted. The sexual affairs were enjoyable, fun, relaxing and an extension of my friendship with certain couples. But I had incorporated years of church teaching that tended to destroy the pleasure. So, I set out on a search to determine whether the guilt was real or imaginary. If it was imaginary, then the two could be reconciled: Swinging & Ministry.

In my search, I discovered a few things. I discovered that the big bug-a-boo about adultery is false. When it comes to swinging couples, if I as a single male (or with a partner as a couple, for that matter) am invited by a consenting couple to enjoy an evening of sex with them, I am not committing adultery, nor are they. If the vows of marriage are true: i.e., the two become one, then I am invited into that relationship to participate with one. Adultery only exists where one of the marriage partners is dishonest. Real swinging couples are hones sexually. (Just as an aside-If you read your Bible you will discover that by strict biblical interpretation only women can commit adultery!)

I also discovered that the sharing of sex with another human being or beings is an extension of one's friendship and pleasure. It becomes distorted only when (usually the single guy) someone seeks his own pleasure ahead of that of his partner(s). The best threesomes occur for me when each person is seeking to give as much pleasure as possible to the other two. Contrary to popular opinion, swingers do not indiscriminately have sex with every person or tree walking down the street. We are not animals in heat. We are selective, caring and seek the pleasure of the other. It is as if the Golden Rule of Jesus is finally put into practice, where Christ says, "Love your neighbor as you would want to be loved."

I finally discovered that sex with an obligating couple is not new, nor a deviation, nor anti-biblical as many are now preaching. Probably the earliest recorded instance of "swinging sex" can be found in the first book of the Bible: Genesis. In this story Abrams wife, Sarai encouraged her husband to have sex with her maid Hagar. Now that text isn't so bad for the prudish when it is read on the surface but when you do some cultural research you find that not only did Abram enjoy sex with Hagar but Sarai was involved in the trio as she laid under Hagar while Abram mounted Sarai's maid from the top. Hardly a story that one has heard in Sunday School - It could lead to some real problems regarding the attitude of many Christian's towards sex: "Antiseptic and only with your legal partner."

I have discovered then that the guilt I had was not a normal guilt that came from the archetype of humanity. It was a false guilt inflicted on me by my church and the interpreters of the Bible I had listened to. Today I enjoy swinging with couples as an extension of myself: Healthy, fun, humorous and erotic. I also find within the swinging family friendships that are more real than family friendships that are more real than those found in the church. I found that I can be a Christian and not deny my sexuality...In fact. It's great fun!